


Found A Milky Way

by Everlind



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Archived From Everlind Blog, Archived From Tumblr, M/M, Trans John, Trolls on Earth, Unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everlind/pseuds/Everlind
Summary: This was the best idea ever, seriously, best bro night ever. But then you notice how Karkat and John are still squashed together, Karkat exhaling hard and leaning back into John, hands leaving the keys. You can see John bite his lip, paw at Karkat’s dark mop of hair again in a futile attempt to flatten it so it won’t get up his nose.It’s so normal, soeasy, and you can’t remember the last time John was close to you like that, close and comfortable.





	Found A Milky Way

If there was a world’s biggest douchebag award you’d be winning the motherfucking shit out of it. But you can’t stop staring at John’s boobs.

It’s awful. You’re awful.

Hate it, that you’re not better than this, that after a fucking decade of John being John your love twizzler still goes  _hello ladies_  at the sight of John’s chest and he’s not, they’re not, it’s just him, John, your best friend and your best bro and complete full package deal asshole and god damn it, he has the cutest frickin’ boobs. You’re scum, you’re horrible and you deserve so many pinecones up your fucking ass you can out-fart a Febreze.

It’s not fair of you, because it’s hot as fuck, summer at Houston at its worst and you’re sweatier than Equius’ asscrack during a Byrne Daily commercial, so why should John have to suffer through it in his binder? He shouldn’t, is what, in fact, it shouldn’t even matter whether he wears the damn thing or not. Most of the time it wouldn’t, John’s tall and thin, like someone stacked a bunch of elbows and knees and ribs together, and topped it off with a cute face. His boobs are tiny, and under a hoodie they’d be nearly invisible. He’s wearing a t-shirt though, the old slimer one, all worn soft and threadbare around the edges. You can see his nipples.

Right about then Karkat makes an inquiring grunt, and your attention is drawn back to the screen of your computer, showing a first person POV view of a creepy dungeon.

“Where do I go?” Karkat demands, eyes huge and lamplike as he stares at the screen. His claws clack on the keys. The camera swings left, to a rickety stairs leading down into gloom, then right and up, towards a torchlit corridor.

John’s leans forward intently, nearly glueing his nose to your desktop. “Down,” he breathes.

Karkat’s left eye twitches exactly once. He goes up.

“Dude,” John scoffs.

You laugh.

It gets you a suspicious squint from John. “Why did you laugh?”

That’s about when Karkat finishes ascending the stairs, turns a corner and suddenly something is standing there, waiting. It’s totally predictable. Both of them shriek like idiots.

“UUUGHOLYAAAAA!”

“AAAAAH!”

The screen roils wildly as Karkat books it back down the stairs, then goes red as he’s attacked from behind.

John screams.“I TOLD YOU TO GO DOWN YOU ASSHOLE!”

“SHUT UP. SHUT. UP. OH MY GOD IT’S ATTACKING ME RUN YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT.”

“Oooooh no no no no NO KARKAT RUN FASTER!”

“I CAN’T SHUT UP. FUCK. FUCK THIS STUPID NO.”

You just laugh your ass off. These nerds.

“Oh my god.”

“Don’t look back,” you suggest.

“SHUT UP,” Karkat growls. “I can’t believe. THIIISISAAAAAH IT’S STILL RIGHT BEHIND ME!”

“What is that thing?!”

“D’aw I bet it just wants some sugar, you know? Poor things been stuck down there for ages, constantly dealing with these shrieking trouserwetters. Just try it, give it a hug.”

“Shut up, Dave!” John says, jostling into your side. He’s warm and damp from the summer night heat and the skin from your arms clings in a prolongued kiss.

“Where do I go?” Karkat hisses. “Fuck fuck fuCK.”

“Door!” John yells pointing at the screen. “DOOR DOOR DOOR KARKAT DOOR!”

“YES I SEE IT I SEE IT SHUT UP FUCK YOU PIECE OF FUCK. SHIT. AAAAAA-“ He opens the door, turns, shuts it behind him. “I made it. I made it. Hell yes. Fine here see? Everything’s under control. Yes.”

“Why is dark?” John wants to know. “Dave, why is it dark, is there gonna be another scary thing?”

“Naw, bro. Just some sparkly unicorns moshing it up,” you lie, as Karkat goes exploring through a labyrinthine room full of shelves.

John jostles you again.

“I found a key,” Karkat informs you, sounding offended about it. “This game is such bullshit, I fucking swear. What am I supposed to do with a goddamn key?”

Snort. “Oh, I don’t know,” John says. “Open a door?”

That’s when the scary thing makes its rather half-hearted zombie entrance, lumbering suddenly from behind a corner and groaning.

“wuuuUUWAAAAAH!!” the both of them howl and Karkat actually half-jumps into John’s lap, knocking him sideways into you and sending your bag of milky ways flying in all directions.

“Ow my boob!” John snaps, pushing at his shoulder.

“FUCK YOU,” Karkat yells, furiously slamming buttons. “Door he says, and here am I, the biggest fucking tool pile of history, actually going through the door. Fuck you, John Egbert. Fuck fucking you. Shit, shit, it’s killing me, what do I do what do I do what do I do?”

Blood splatters dramatically across the camera.

“Pause it!” John suggests, hand jammed between Karkat’s horns to peek over the top of his head.

“Oh my fucking god, that’s so you, I swear, like that’s going to fix anything,” but he pauses it all the same.

You’re nearly pissing out the mirth you’re trying to contain, this was the best idea ever, seriously, best bro night ever. But then you notice how Karkat and John are still squashed together, Karkat exhaling hard and leaning back into John, hands leaving the keys. You can see John bite his lip, paw at Karkat’s dark mop of hair again in a futile attempt to flatten it so it won’t get up his nose.

It’s so normal, so  _easy_ , and you can’t remember the last time John was close to you like that, close and comfortable. A long time. Damn Karkat anyway, for sitting there and scowling at John, for not freaking out about the elbow-to-boob thing, something you always fudge up royally, blushing and stammering an apology when it happens and it always fucking does, cause even flattened by his binder the damn things are stuck smack-dab on his chest and a prime target for accidental grazing or nudging. It’s not that Karkat doesn’t look at John, he does, but never his chest. The long, sweat-damp line of John’s throat, or even the insides of his wrists, yes. His face. His eyes. His mouth.

It doesn’t help that you saw this shit coming lightyears ago, Karkat is as transparent as the trashy novels he reads. It doesn’t help that you would never have been able to guess John’d be, well, receptive. You think. It’s been a long time since John dated. Years. A decade.

Since you.

Karkat is the better person, he fucking is, you’re jealous of how he sees John as John, just John, and you aren’t even sure whether you can say the same thing. Because you’ve known John since you both were kids and he was Joan and sometimes wore skirts to school and held your hand and kissed you.

And you fucked it up, cause you were just as young and confused as John’d been.

Not Karkat though. Karkat treats him exactly how he treats everybody else: like shit. But special super deluxe shit he’ll fight to protect to his last breath, because you’re his special super deluxe shit.

“I hate this game,” Karkat snarls. “What use is it if you can’t kill the things killing you?”

“It’s survival horror, Kitkat,” you say. “Gotta use your noggin’ and not your aggressive alien invasion tactics.”

“I’ll aggressively alien invade your word chute with my fist.”

 

 

( **author's note:** and that’s all I had; the end)


End file.
